Exit Music

 

Captain Sir Tom Moore left instructions for his funeral that the song “My Way” by Frank Sinatra should be played. No-one can deny that Tom did things in his own way, impressing and inspiring the nation as he did so. He was very much the man of the moment, though not by self-promotion as the song implies in certain of its lines. He said that he particularly appreciated the line about “regrets – too few to mention”. It’s a good way to go…..

There would have been a time when most funerals would have organ voluntaries at the beginning and end, but even in church that is becoming rare. Given that the music frames the ceremony it does seem reasonable that something appropriate should be chosen, if desired. When we are at the crematorium, the downloading system means that we can request just about anything ever recorded. That can make decisions either very easy or, in all fairness, rather difficult.

We are free to choose; I recall one person who was amazed that he could request Widor’s Toccata for the end of his father’s funeral. Going out on a high note! Some evoke an era which was important to the family or an attitude which represents the person we remember. Songs such as Oh Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison, Skin by Rag n’Bone Man or Moonlight Serenade by Glenn Miller all speak of a loved one at a particular special time.

In the end – at the end? – that Exit Music feels best when it reflects the personality, the love and hopefully the faith of the person whose life we are celebrating. Maybe they chose it, or perhaps we choose it. It may or may not have lyrics, for the music alone can express deep emotion. In these days when we cannot sing together, we often have an additional piece of music – maybe a hymn, or another significant piece – to listen to and contemplate. It’s actually a great opportunity, given the circumstances. For all of us, like Captain Tom, we will ultimately leave a feeling with those who survive us, and our Exit Music – based on our lives - will hopefully not leave regrets but a profound sense of thankfulness.