Half a World Away

 

A Lenten Confession – I have been watching some trashy television. Only after my work is done and I want to relax, of course. The lockdown has its effect and I want to escape. So I have been following Australian Married at First Sight.

It wasn’t my idea initially, but my husband suggested it. References were coming up frequently on the newsfeed on his mobile phone. He says it is absolutely on trend. It’s a bit Genesis 2&3 in reverse, the temptation which is offered and grasped but this time the man initiates it and the woman can be the one to pretend she is not guilty. That works for me.

The series is about relationships, where men and women are brought together for a “marriage” without any prior meeting. The couples are allocated by “experts” who analyse data about each person and match them up. Then they have eight weeks of getting to know one another, ultimately deciding whether to marry for real.

One fascinating aspect is that each person confides regularly to the camera, and therefore to me, just what is going on in their mind. Oh the uncertainties, the joys, the changing perceptions. If only we could normally be so clear and open with our feelings, facing our difficulties and rejoicing in the good stuff. We could really have a healthy, open life, as clear as the Australian outback. But later we see the subterfuges, the unwillingness to change and (literally) embrace a new life.

The participants have many different stories which they bring with them. Some have broken marriages or other significant relationships behind them, others have had limited experience of loving relationships. For some there is a barrier to trusting others, for others there is an element of selfishness; and some seem genuine. There are elements of people wanting to dominate the group, of some preferring to run their relationships against the rules, of denial of involvement, and even of betrayal. Where have I heard that before?

It’s all too much. There have been forty-one episodes. Thankfully I only joined at no. 35. I began my viewing thinking that they are half the world away and I could just laugh incredulously, as I do. And at least it looks as if the fame has brought most of them a wealthy situation in life. But the pain of rejection was there too, the demand of changing oneself too exacting to make a difference for a happier future.

This Lent, how willing are we to examine our lives under God? If our way of living and relating to others was followed by cameras for eight weeks – or forty days and forty nights – what would be the result? God does know us through and through, and his call to love is there to hold and guide us, to bring us through all that threatens our well-being. In offering our true selves to God – rather than being in denial of our spiritual needs – we can be lead into God’s ways of faith, hope and love which alone last for ever.